The old American comedian WC Fields was known for his pithy witticisms delivered with unerring timing in a perpetually inebriated voice. One of your Eyewitness’s favourites was, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.” It’s clear that the PM’s personal flack — whom he swore is like a “son” to him, and promptly appointed him the nation’s “DPI” — has taken Fields’s advice to heart. And no… “DPI” doesn’t stand for “Dopey Prime Instigator”, even though that’s what the fella does full time…but “Director of Public Information”.
The flack tried to rebut a letter sent to the press by some anonymous members of his staff, detailing some serious hanky-panky going on at the Department. Your Eyewitness’s first reaction was, “Since the DPI is an AFC appointee, what’s new?” Their sole purpose in getting the PNC into office was to fill their pockets (or their various orifices) with loot from the public treasury, isn’t it? Like that Duncan fella over at the Chronic!!
Anyhow, back to the charges alleged against the DPI – which he summarised as “The role of the Editor-in-Chief; the hosting of staff training and morale building events and DPI publications.”
But, right off the bat, he was already bullshitting. The staffers didn’t complain about the EiC’s ROLE, but that she was the wife of the AFC’s Regional 4 Chairman, and she did absolutely zilch in the Department save berating members of the staff!! The flack ignored this nepotism and featherbedding charge completely, and pleaded that the lady was just one member of the Editorial Team!! And this means she has no work to do?? Pure unadulterated bullshit!!
The second charge had to do with holding “retreats” in fancy resorts purportedly to “discuss the DPI’s operations”, when these discussions could’ve been held right at the DPI.
And how did the slimy DPI respond? Mo’ BS!! He claimed the staffers wanted another locale from which they would’ve gotten a kickback!! If he has evidence of this, shouldn’t he have taken some action? And since the staff did say he’d received “kickbacks”, maybe his guilty conscience is speaking??
But it was his response to the third charge — about excessive printing of publications for the regions — that takes the cake for bullshit. (You would know bullshit is dropped in “cakes”!!) He refused to talk about EXCESSIVE publications, and pleaded there wasn’t too many “BESPOKE” publications!! Now, the word “bespoke” for the longest while referred to custom clothes for the elite and British Royalty by Saville Row etc.
Your Eyewitness knows the term’s been extended to cover customised shoes and such like. But for the bilge that the DPI churns out?
That’s bespoke bullshit!!
After a tsunami of protests, the President promised to reveal the contents of the MoU he’s going to be signing with PM Keith Rowley of TT this Wednesday. In the meantime, Foreign Minister Carl Greenidge had been stoutly insisting that there was nothing untoward in the contents of the MoU!
Methinks he protested too much!! Wasn’t this the same response Trotman and he had given the Guyanese people after he signed the contract and bonus (such as it was!!) with Exxon??
If the MoU was so innocuous, why was Rowley’s trip postponed from last Wednesday? Well, the Exxon contract couldn’t very well be changed, could it?? So, after stonewalling for months, the Guyanese people finally got to see how they were sold out down the road by this PNC Government — one whose president assured that Exxon wouldn’t take advantage of us!!
Call him jaded, but your Eyewitness believes that if the contents would actually be revealed, the agreement’s gonna be adjusted for sure!!
After all, Trinidad would never take candy from a baby, would they?
…B & I loans?
After a MOU with China on their B&I Initiative – which Greenidge assures us is innocuous! – their Foreign Minister will be dropping in.
Will the PNC ask whether we can repay when the bespoke infrastructural loans are dangled?